Being Friends With Someone Who is Anxious/Depressed

I'm procrastinating on homework at school at the moment and there's a girl sitting next to me talking to her boyfriend, and she's getting really heated. The girl is extremely angry that her "best friend" is quote: "lazy, flaky, doesn't work, and doesn't go to school". She says the friend claims she's "too depressed" and has "too many anxiety attacks", and she's upset that this friend does not follow through with plans. She doesn't understand why the friend says she's going to put effort into "fixing herself" but never does. She also doesn't understand why her texts and calls go unanswered.

Please note that I'm not a specialist nor a professional in this field, but I feel the need to comment because I have a few friends who are struggling through similar issues, so these are my personal thoughts on the matter.

The thing this girl cannot understand is that her friend struggles with mental health issues. She can't switch her anxiety/depression on and off. She can't get better in the same way neurotypical people can. For some, behavior displayed by people with depression and anxiety is incredibly hard to understand. It's natural to think, why can't this person just buckle up and get over it? Apply for jobs? Take some classes? If everyone else can do it, why can't they? But to those with depression/anxiety these regular tasks may seem like the absolute most challenging things in the world. It's not a sign of laziness, what they're experiencing is more like a mix of fear and helplessness.

Instead of responding to a depressed and anxious person with anger and confusion, the appropriate thing is to be supportive. Especially if this person is your best friend, it's important to acknowledge that, at this moment in time, they need you more than you need them. If it means sending a quick text to make sure they're doing okay or offering to pick them up when you have plans to hang out, then as a friend I think it's important for YOU to buckle up and do these things. The friendship may not seem reciprocal at the moment, but getting your friend out of their downtrodden routine will be super helpful to them, even though it may seem hopeless to you. I feel like it's important to be persistent and to ensure that your friend knows that you're there for them. In some cases, if you give up on the friendship, not only are you losing a friend, but THEY are losing a potential lifeline and perhaps one of the few sources of happiness in their life.

We're taught that relationships require balance and equal effort on behalf of both parties, but I really believe this is one case that this theory doesn't apply to. Unless your own mental health is at-risk by supporting your friend, then I think putting that extra effort into your friendship is worth it. Continue to encourage them to improve themselves, and even though it may seem fruitless at first, the moment you stop insisting is the moment they give up, too. I know you may be dealing with your own set of struggles and issues, but you're mentally strong enough to overcome them. Your friend isn't. Also, and here's the harsh truth in this case: it's not about you and your needs at the moment. It's about them.

I Must Have Seasonal Affective Disorder

There has only been one thought going through my head lately... WHEN. WILL. WINTER. END??? Mother Nature must have some sort of apocalyptic vendetta with humanity because I look outside and think, "Someone up there must really hate the world right now."

I don't know what it's like in other parts of the northern hemisphere, but Canada is absolutely dreadful. I can't, for the life of me, remember a time when winter was so bad. We have had snowstorm after snowstorm after snowstorm. It'll creep up to -10 some days, and I think "SPRIIING!!?" and then there's a snowstorm but a day later.

Don't even get me started on Canadians who get downright patriotic over this arctic cold. "It's nothing us Canadians aren't used to, eh!" they'll say, Tim Hortons mugs in-hand. With the Winter Olympics in full swing it's like all the patriotic Canucks emerge from their igloos and I'm just here like, when's the next flight to Australia, because I am so done. And all Instagrams of the "beautiful winter snow"? It's not beautiful, it's evil.

I love being Canadian but I am SO ready to retire these mittens :(

It genuinely sucks the life out of me to get up in the morning knowing that I have to brave the awful and terrible outdoors. Not only that, but it's as if I'm drained of all motivation and affect. God bless my short-lived effort to eat healthy this year, because making nutritious meals is the last thing on my mind these days. All I want is to curl up into my warm bed with Netflix and chocolate cake. And going to the gym? Don't mind if I don't. Seriously, it's a miracle if I step foot in that place.

School, work, and internship are just as lousy. I feel like time has been going by extra slowly this winter and my devotion to these commitments is dwindling every day. I'll sit at my desk at internship, reply to emails, and then stare at the clock for 15 minutes until I realize I should probably be productive.

Next week I'm going to Florida, and I should be happy about it, but I can't get over the fact that I'm only going for three days and will probably have to drive back from the New York airport in the middle of a snowstorm. I've been trying to plan every possible second of those pathetic 72 hours of sunshine to maximize happiness and optimism, but it's been tough. Also, the Tuesday I get back will be one of the most nerve-wrecking days of my semesters since my major project is due. So, yay, I guess.

Anyway, I really felt the need to write this post because ranting to my friends about the weather has become ultra redundant. Thanks for listening. Let's pray for sunny days ahead.