Being Friends With Someone Who is Anxious/Depressed

I'm procrastinating on homework at school at the moment and there's a girl sitting next to me talking to her boyfriend, and she's getting really heated. The girl is extremely angry that her "best friend" is quote: "lazy, flaky, doesn't work, and doesn't go to school". She says the friend claims she's "too depressed" and has "too many anxiety attacks", and she's upset that this friend does not follow through with plans. She doesn't understand why the friend says she's going to put effort into "fixing herself" but never does. She also doesn't understand why her texts and calls go unanswered.

Please note that I'm not a specialist nor a professional in this field, but I feel the need to comment because I have a few friends who are struggling through similar issues, so these are my personal thoughts on the matter.

The thing this girl cannot understand is that her friend struggles with mental health issues. She can't switch her anxiety/depression on and off. She can't get better in the same way neurotypical people can. For some, behavior displayed by people with depression and anxiety is incredibly hard to understand. It's natural to think, why can't this person just buckle up and get over it? Apply for jobs? Take some classes? If everyone else can do it, why can't they? But to those with depression/anxiety these regular tasks may seem like the absolute most challenging things in the world. It's not a sign of laziness, what they're experiencing is more like a mix of fear and helplessness.

Instead of responding to a depressed and anxious person with anger and confusion, the appropriate thing is to be supportive. Especially if this person is your best friend, it's important to acknowledge that, at this moment in time, they need you more than you need them. If it means sending a quick text to make sure they're doing okay or offering to pick them up when you have plans to hang out, then as a friend I think it's important for YOU to buckle up and do these things. The friendship may not seem reciprocal at the moment, but getting your friend out of their downtrodden routine will be super helpful to them, even though it may seem hopeless to you. I feel like it's important to be persistent and to ensure that your friend knows that you're there for them. In some cases, if you give up on the friendship, not only are you losing a friend, but THEY are losing a potential lifeline and perhaps one of the few sources of happiness in their life.

We're taught that relationships require balance and equal effort on behalf of both parties, but I really believe this is one case that this theory doesn't apply to. Unless your own mental health is at-risk by supporting your friend, then I think putting that extra effort into your friendship is worth it. Continue to encourage them to improve themselves, and even though it may seem fruitless at first, the moment you stop insisting is the moment they give up, too. I know you may be dealing with your own set of struggles and issues, but you're mentally strong enough to overcome them. Your friend isn't. Also, and here's the harsh truth in this case: it's not about you and your needs at the moment. It's about them.

The Think Pink TAG!

I was tagged by the lovely Ellie from Ellalogy to participate in this "Think Pink" tag. The purpose of the tag is to raise awareness about breast cancer, especially considering October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

THE TAG:

1) Pick out your favorite pink food, makeup, fashion, and random item.

2) Spread the message about breast cancer to a female friend/family in your life - the awareness, the symptoms, the checks, the healthy foods that helps prevent the disease... anything or everything! (I found this website that is a good place to start. Links to many helpful reads and resources)

3) Write a blog post about 1 & 2, linking back to this post 

4) Tag 3 of your blogger girlfriends to do the same

I do not directly know anyone affected by breast cancer, but I've been involved in breast cancer awareness from an early age. Each year my all-girls high school would team up with other all-girls schools in the area for Girls For the Cure, a walk to raise awareness about the disease and gather donations for breast cancer research. While I'm not an expert on the topic, I will mention that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime (source). When I started doing Girls For the Cure at 13 years old (6 years ago), the statistic was 1 in 3, so there have been advancements in breast cancer research, which is amazing, but the disease is still prevalent.

I kinda cheated and picked two wishlist items for my random and makeup picks, but here goes:

• Random: This Kitchen Aid mixer. I've been super into cooking lately and I would really like to invest in a proper mixer. If you go to this website you can take a quiz to find out which color mixer matches your personality. I got Almond Cream, but I think this pink one is way cuter!
• Fashion: The only pink fashion item I own is this pink beanie from Forever 21 that I bought last year. I'm so upset because I can't find it anywhere! This is the only picture I have of me wearing it. LOL.
• Food: Cotton candy, of course! Not much to say here!
• Makeup: I've been lusting after this Chanel lipstick in the color "Boy" for a long time now, especially since Fleur de Force has recommended it.

I'm a little late in doing the tag because I was having a bit of trouble thinking of my responses, and unfortunately we're nearing the end of the month BUT I tag any blogger who reads this because it's for a worthwhile cause, and it's fun :)